How lucky am I, I have so many opportunities this year :D
Its gonna be great, I shall make it so and pray that those above grant it to me (I mean, ultimately I think theres a greater power controlling things and a greater plan, and I pray it does good things for me this year!)
Am absolutely shattered as worked for 12 hours today (long shift) and woke up at 4 this am as couldn't sleep.
Been doing my usual time wasting activities, internet and musing.
I start my Logic course this sunday.. yay!! So exciting.
Need to kick start my social life and sort out what i'm going to be doing for my party.
Did quite well on the intuitive eating front yesterday. Today failed a little, was more tired than hungry and wolfed everything down. However, I eat mostly home made food and did ok ish I think. It certainly wasn't a disaster day anyway!
Have blown up my laptop cable (again!) I thought something similar would happen.
Should really just sleep now!
Been thinking about doing something dramatic and symbolic to make a change, was considering a haircut, a cute Zooey Deschanel fringe for my hair. Its weird cos I always hated my fringe at secondary school and spent months growing it out. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe its really all a lot of rubbish and I should have just been me from the beginning instead of always trying to change and thinking those girls at school would like me better if I looked different- if I looked more like them anyway.
Urgh.. what a waste of a life, a waste of space..
I wish i'd just though.. hey.. this is what I AM and what I want and just embraced all of that while feeling good about myself.
I am DEFINITELY a success.
i've been on Facebook far too much , looking up the bitches and bullies that excluded me when I was a child.
But then, I never had the confidence and courage to stand up for myself without being aggressive ( I was always aggressive and liked playing the little lost child) this obviously didn't work out!
Its ridiculous cos by year 11 I Was getting to be far more confident and strong, and it just knocked me back going to that school.
anyway.. I am a success.
I am a bloody doctor for goodness sake. I've won prizes, I deserve to be loved.
What am I embarrassed about?
Somehow I feel to be rated and to have truly won and be in their league.. I should be married to someone gorgeous.. big cowboy hunk from the Nora Roberts novels where on earth are you?
Also, I'd like to be gorgeous.. slim and sexy and stunning.
I'm working on these things.
I'd also like to be erm.. musically fantastically talented, dare I say it famous? renown? Doing cool things and for them to be envious.
I want them to feel bad and be jealous and be sorry. Probably a pipe dream. But I can try. I will try. :D
